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Lowering The Gradients Considering The Persona Of The Girl

When we are referring to topics such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I often get asked regarding the best way to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for awhile.

Getting physical is one thing that generally occurs naturally between a guy and a girl over a three month period unless of course one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the the most important thing that a guy could do to handle that is discover ways to observe and use gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to reach the top. Some guys might try to head to the top of the ladder without ascending any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

A guy who is uncomfortable in this field should learn both how to identify gradients when women make use of them and how to make use of gradients on women.

Not every woman will start at the same gradient. Some girls will start with a kiss after a first date, and proceed steadily or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and ultimately to sexual relations. If a man tries to jump to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. On the other hand, you can lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other girls won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her could be: getting to know you, talking about sexual topics indirectly (for example commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you as you go walking), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm while you walk, holding your hand, and a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients lightly. As long as you don't by pass a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or gradually depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try talking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Don't forget that most girls won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely fine with the concept of getting physical with you. So you might want to clarify if you are dating or simply "hanging out."

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